The Big Picture

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard.  Let's face it, being a parent is hard.  But for me, being a stay-at-home mom is HARD.  I love it.  I recognize the blessing it is that I can stay home.  I love that I get to do fun things with my kids like library visits, museums and walks to the park.  I love that I get to be a part of every moment of my kids' development.

But at times, that's hard; there are times when I'd give anything NOT to be a part of every moment.  You know the times -- the baby is holding out one of his nesting cups into the stream of pee from your preschooler, so now you have to deal with THAT.  Or the preschooler just used the pen he had to write all over your white kitchen cabinets, so now you have to deal with THAT.  Or the clinging hands while trying to make dinner, or the never-ending questions and or the desire they have to turn me into a human jungle gym.  These are things that I could at times enjoy not being part of.

It's also difficult for me to find joy in the day in day out needs of caring for a family: the endless piles of laundry, the daily emptying and filling of the dishwasher, the menu-planning and food preparation.  Between the needs of two small children and keeping up with our home, it's easy enough for me to find  drudgery in my role instead of joy.  But one day I read this article, and I was reminded of the right perspective.


http://www.momlifetoday.com/
2012/07/kids-i-quit-mom/

There is a bigger picture, and while the daily tasks can be mind-numbing, they are a only a small part of the bigger picture that God is using us to create.  I easily get lost in the small things.  There are many things that I do that are hard for me; in some ways, I was not wired to be a stay-at-home-mom.  At times I question why I went to seminary or got ordained or did this or that, if I'm not using those things.  But then, I hear from more experienced moms the encouragement that Erich and I were chosen to be the parents of Soren and Mattias.  God gave them to us in His good plan.  And not to sound grandiose, I think that God wants me to use my theological training and ministry experience as I parent my children, for they are some of my disciples.

Looking at the larger vision is energizing.  It breaths life into even the small chores, the yard work, the ongoing effort to teach basic human niceties.  Because when I'm reminding someone that it's not nice to shout in someone's face for the eighth time or again battling about the importance of washing our hands after playing outside, it's nice to know there is a larger purpose.  And what I was reminded of by Ms. Eyster is the effect that remembering the "macro amidst the micro" can have.

So now when I reflect on my days, I want to try to focus less on the fact that I did (or didn't) get to the dishes, that I am exhausted by the constant questions or the never-ending potty training.  Instead, I am going to frame my efforts within the big picture:  I am spending my days teaching two young boys how to get along with and respect others, how to take care of the things they own, how to lend a helping hand.  I am hopefully modeling servanthood, joy in work and kindness even when I'm frustrated, tired or angry.

And most of all, I hope I am demonstrating faith in Jesus who saves us and dependence on God who sees the bigger picture even when I can't see it through the mountain of laundry waiting for me.  Because SOMEONE needs to remind that there's more than just the mountain in front of me.