What my "yes" vote does (and doesn't) mean

I do not typically get very political.  One reason is I have no place for the vitriolic posturing that often goes on from both sides of the issue at hand--whatever it is.  But I have many friends, both Christian and not, who have presented their view and support of "no" regarding the marriage amendment in Minnesota and I think it is time that the other side be presented and heard with the respect it, too, deserves.  I have read many commentaries supporting both sides of the marriage amendment issue.  A wise friend of mine presented articles from both viewpoints when his denomination debated the issue of homosexuality and gay marriage at their international convention.  I took those articles under careful consideration because they were written by people who come from the same faith background that I do.

Many of them were persuasive, but as I read them and considered Scripture and prayed for wisdom, I continue to believe that Scripture teaches that homosexual sexuality is a sin -- a sinful expression of sexual intimacy.  But please hear me when I say this and let me be clear;  I believe homosexual activity is a sinful expression of sex in the same way that Scripture teaches premarital and extramarital sex are sin. And also I believe those activities are sinful in the same way that I believe gossip, sarcasm (a personal area of struggle), envy and selfishness are sin.  My sin isn't better sin.

I have heard a lot of assumptions made about those who are voting "yes" for the marriage amendment.  And yet those assumptions do not sit well with me, or even describe me.  And so, I want to give some insight into what my "yes" vote does (and doesn't) mean -- for me and for many of the people I know.  I know many people will disagree with me.  And please understand, my effort is not one to persuade others to my viewpoint, but simply to present this viewpoint with what I hope is love and respect with the hope that it will be heard with love and respect.

What it means:

It means I believe that "marriage" as an institution is primarily a sacred one.  The government has chosen to recognize it, but it's foundation is primarily religious.  From the creation of the world, God designed marriage as between male and female, "...Male and female he created them.  God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number'" Gen 1:27b-28a and in Gen 2:24 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."  Now, I will quickly join you in saying that many Christian and/or heterosexual marriages are bad examples or do nothing to set the standard for marriage.  And I've seen that illustration about all the biblical examples of marriage (multiple wives, soldiers marrying conquered women, etc.)  However what that illustration fails to address is that while those are examples of marriages we find in the Bible, that does not make them God-honoring, God-directed or a Biblical standard for marriage.  I believe that Scripture shows God clearly defines that standard as one man and one woman (again, I recognize that there are many people who share my faith -or don't- who disagree with me; and I ask that you will lovingly disagree with me, as I do you).

It means that I believe that it is important to protect the freedom of religious organizations to operate as they are directed by their faith standards.  That freedom has been affected in places where gay marriage is made legal.  Faith-based organizations become required to recognize same-sex marriages contrary to their beliefs, losing and/or limiting the freedom of religion, which has been a recognized freedom since the founding of our country.  Marriage is not an automatic right for anyone, gay or straight (just ask some of my single friends who would maybe like to be married but are not).

It means my heart breaks at the idea that people cannot be in the hospital room of a sick loved one, or share their benefits.  Or upon death pass their inheritance on (although, we were told to have a will as part of smart financial planning even as a married couple, so doesn't that solve that one -- or maybe I am missing something).  Maybe we can find a different way to honor those things.  One that does not limit those people, groups and organizations protected by our constitutional freedom of religion.

It means I wrestled with how I was going to vote, precisely because I believe both that Scripture teaches that homosexual activity is sinful (along with premarital and extramarital activity, remember) AND the separation of church and state.

It means I still love and care about my friends who are gay (because yes, Erich and I do have friends who are).  And I love and care about the strangers who are gay.  I think they are deserving of dignity as humans and many people who claim to share my faith do not give them the dignity they deserve.

It means I don't have all the answers. I do not know what it's like to be gay. I can't even begin to imagine. And I am trying very hard to walk the line between loving people and honoring their dignity as humans and what I believe is what Scripture teaches (and I know many do not agree with the view I have taken of Scripture's teaching on this). Despite my fear of sounding uncaring or judgmental I can’t get around what I believe Scripture clearly teaches about marriage, which is a one man one woman descriptive. I honestly don't know the best way to show love, to show respect, to affirm and not demean in the midst of that belief, and so, I pray. Because I don't have the answers but the God I love does.


What it does NOT mean:

It does not mean that I am intolerant.  Tolerance is defined as a sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own.  We like to throw around words in our society in ways that misuse their definition.  This is one of a few I address (along with the above comment about "rights").  To be tolerant does not mean that I am required to agree with you.  It means that we both respectfully recognize that there is, in fact, disagreement.  We have no need for tolerance if there is no difference of belief or ideas.  Disagreement does not equal intolerance.

It does not mean that I am a bigot.  Bigot is defined in Webster's as "one who regards or treats a person or group with hatred or intolerance."   I do not hate gay people; they are not less, they love people, hold jobs, raise families and as I mentioned, I have people who I count as friends or acquaintances who are gay.  And I do hate that many people who are gay are treated so shamefully.  That needs to change.

It does not mean that I think everyone should be held to the standard of my faith even if they do not hold to it.  In fact, the very opposite is true.  I have no illusions that someone who does not believe in the authority of Scripture or who doesn't seek to live in accordance with it should be held to it.  Although this could become a slippery slope as things like murder, stealing, and other things spoken about in Scripture are held as laws that we are all called by our government to follow.

It does not mean I have come to hold my position through fear or self-righteous judgment.  I have come to them with careful consideration: first and foremost the study of Scripture and prayer and then also listening to the views of other Christians (on both sides) as I sought ways to articulate what I believe the whole of Scripture teaches.

It does not mean I think this is the most important issue facing Christians or our country. There are people starving.  There are children without families.  There are people caught in slave and sex trafficking.  If we take our Scriptures seriously, Christians should be setting the bar on dealing with these issues and many of us (I include myself here) are not.  Let's make sure we're making a difference in those issues, too.

It does not mean I think same-sex marriage will weaken my own marriage.  Erich and I are doing just fine, thank you, and if we aren't it will only be because of our own sin and failures and no one else's.  It is our responsibility, in God's power, to maintain and protect our marriage.

I have written this blog post with great fear and trembling and have put off writing it for several months.  This is an emotional issue that brings strong feelings and opinions from both sides.  I recognize that there are other people who hold a position different from mine and I love them.  They are intelligent, and those who hold the same faith as me love God just like I do and try to understand His Word just like I do.  If you disagree with me, that's okay.

Just a bit of housekeeping to end.  If you comment, please make sure your words are respectful and considerate.  I'm not one for debate, particularly when things get heated, so I may or may not respond.  And please keep your commenting on my blog or a private message and not my Facebook page.