Being a mom, especially a SAHM, is often overwhelming to me. I often wish feel as though I should have multiple masters degrees; I want an extensive background in financial management, education, horticulture and gardening, diet and nutrition, first aid, culinary skills, canning, fabric care, sewing, arts and crafts, interior decorating, child development, psychology and more.
Life would be so much easier if I just knew it all! My family would be healthier, better fed, better educated and all for less money. While I enjoy learning and the pursuit of knowledge in any or all of these areas is a good thing on those days when I am most anxious about my lack of knowledge I most need to remind myself to rest in the Lord. His desire is that I not be anxious about anything -- and when I am, I am disobedient. I must learn to give Him worries and lean on Him to give me, and my family, all that I need.
How wonderful it is and blessed I am to know that God cares for me enough to care about all my anxieties. And while I am feeling as though I need masters of masters degree to adequately care for my family it so good to know that at the end of the day, I can put my trust in the One who truly is the Master of the Universe.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
This Little Light of Mine
Friday, February 12, 2010
"'You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.'" Matthew 5:14-16, The Message
Erich and I have been praying about our family's calling for several weeks now. When we first discussed the idea, a passage from the Bible came to mind almost immediately. I read it in several versions over the next couple days, encouraged Erich to read it and it just resonated with us. This is our calling -- to be a light on a hill, sharing God's hope through an open home, a spirit of generosity. We are still trying to figure what that will "look like" for our family as we live out this calling. How do we commit our time? How do we open our home? What does is mean to be generous with our lives?
This calling will mean different things at different points in our lives. But it is a vision that creates excitement in my heart and can spread hope to our world. We want to be obedient to God and allow this calling to be a filter through which we run our options and allow it to help us make decisions, to deepen relationships and to spend time together as a family.
I'm sure I'll write more as we continue to discern how God is leading us and as we narrow down. It is striking to me how many more verses about hospitality have been brought to my attention over the last week. It just affirms for me that God is speaking to us and leading us in this direction. It is exciting to hear the voice of God and to walk in faithful obedience in the way we believe God is asking our family to live.
"'You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.'" Matthew 5:14-16, The Message
Erich and I have been praying about our family's calling for several weeks now. When we first discussed the idea, a passage from the Bible came to mind almost immediately. I read it in several versions over the next couple days, encouraged Erich to read it and it just resonated with us. This is our calling -- to be a light on a hill, sharing God's hope through an open home, a spirit of generosity. We are still trying to figure what that will "look like" for our family as we live out this calling. How do we commit our time? How do we open our home? What does is mean to be generous with our lives?
This calling will mean different things at different points in our lives. But it is a vision that creates excitement in my heart and can spread hope to our world. We want to be obedient to God and allow this calling to be a filter through which we run our options and allow it to help us make decisions, to deepen relationships and to spend time together as a family.
I'm sure I'll write more as we continue to discern how God is leading us and as we narrow down. It is striking to me how many more verses about hospitality have been brought to my attention over the last week. It just affirms for me that God is speaking to us and leading us in this direction. It is exciting to hear the voice of God and to walk in faithful obedience in the way we believe God is asking our family to live.
A Decade Of Reflections
Friday, January 1, 2010
So many people seem to have taken the opportunity to reflect on the decade as they rang in 2010. I've never been one for a great deal of reflection just because it was New Years, but I thought I'd give it a try. It IS interesting to think about all the things that have happened in 10 years -- many great, some sad, some tragic. In this decade, I personally experienced: graduation from college, my first real job, the death of my dad, my "own" place, graduation from seminary, marriage, ordination, the birth of our first child, 30. And I'm sure I am forgetting much. But in all of this I see the hand of God.
As I consider the year 2010, and even the decade that is to come, I know that it too will be filled with great things, exciting things, sadness. But all wrapped in the blessing of God. Over the next 10 years, I will be entitled to raise our children, to nurture them and point them to the goodness of God. To watch as they grow in stature in wisdom, go to school, play their first sports, learn an instrument, sing in the Christmas program. Soren will be 11 in ten years -- almost in middle school! Maybe we'll be in a new house, have more children, have had amazing experiences or experienced loss. It is exciting to think about.
But mostly, New Year's Day is an opportunity to plan for the next year. To set goals and express hopes for the next year. Some, the same old resolutions: exercise more. Learn or develop a skill (is it time to take up sewing, perhaps? photography?). Others are continuous: to keep seeking God. To give Soren a knowledge of the Scriptures and the God who breathed them. For our home to be a place that welcomes visitors and is a place of nourishment and rest for our family and friends. I pray that God will help me to accomplish these goals in 2010 and beyond.
So many people seem to have taken the opportunity to reflect on the decade as they rang in 2010. I've never been one for a great deal of reflection just because it was New Years, but I thought I'd give it a try. It IS interesting to think about all the things that have happened in 10 years -- many great, some sad, some tragic. In this decade, I personally experienced: graduation from college, my first real job, the death of my dad, my "own" place, graduation from seminary, marriage, ordination, the birth of our first child, 30. And I'm sure I am forgetting much. But in all of this I see the hand of God.
As I consider the year 2010, and even the decade that is to come, I know that it too will be filled with great things, exciting things, sadness. But all wrapped in the blessing of God. Over the next 10 years, I will be entitled to raise our children, to nurture them and point them to the goodness of God. To watch as they grow in stature in wisdom, go to school, play their first sports, learn an instrument, sing in the Christmas program. Soren will be 11 in ten years -- almost in middle school! Maybe we'll be in a new house, have more children, have had amazing experiences or experienced loss. It is exciting to think about.
But mostly, New Year's Day is an opportunity to plan for the next year. To set goals and express hopes for the next year. Some, the same old resolutions: exercise more. Learn or develop a skill (is it time to take up sewing, perhaps? photography?). Others are continuous: to keep seeking God. To give Soren a knowledge of the Scriptures and the God who breathed them. For our home to be a place that welcomes visitors and is a place of nourishment and rest for our family and friends. I pray that God will help me to accomplish these goals in 2010 and beyond.
Emmanuel -- God with Us
Sunday, December 27, 2009
I have found especially meaningful this Christmas the spiritual truth that in Jesus, God came to live with us. "His name shall be called Emmanuel." What an idea! How crazy this must have been to those who first heard the prophesy and those to whom the angels proclaimed Jesus' arrival. That God, omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, would so limit Himself to human flesh, human knowledge, human experience to live among His creation. But that is the miracle and the mystery that we celebrate on Christmas. That is the truth we ponder during the advent season. That God became man in Jesus Christ to point His precious children to the Kingdom of Heaven.
I'm not sure exactly why this reality has so impressed itself upon me this year. Earlier I wrote about wanting to be more intentional about reflecting on the Truths of the season. And I believe that this is one way God has honored that desire. (Though I did not follow through as well as I hoped!) I do not fully comprehend the great love that produced this act of self-limitation on God's part, but it is delightful to be wrapped in such love. There is a tension between the mystery and the known. God revealed Himself to us in a humble birth and life of ministry and teaching. But there is mystery, too, in how and why God chose to limit Himself and save His people in this way, to be Emmanuel.
It is my hope that I can continue to ponder this truth in my heart, to wait in anticipation as God reveals more to me, in the same way Mary and so many others waited in anticipation of the Promised One who would be King of Kings, Lord of Lords and Wonderful Counselor in a way so unexpected, so humble and yet so powerful -- as "God with us."
I have found especially meaningful this Christmas the spiritual truth that in Jesus, God came to live with us. "His name shall be called Emmanuel." What an idea! How crazy this must have been to those who first heard the prophesy and those to whom the angels proclaimed Jesus' arrival. That God, omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, would so limit Himself to human flesh, human knowledge, human experience to live among His creation. But that is the miracle and the mystery that we celebrate on Christmas. That is the truth we ponder during the advent season. That God became man in Jesus Christ to point His precious children to the Kingdom of Heaven.
I'm not sure exactly why this reality has so impressed itself upon me this year. Earlier I wrote about wanting to be more intentional about reflecting on the Truths of the season. And I believe that this is one way God has honored that desire. (Though I did not follow through as well as I hoped!) I do not fully comprehend the great love that produced this act of self-limitation on God's part, but it is delightful to be wrapped in such love. There is a tension between the mystery and the known. God revealed Himself to us in a humble birth and life of ministry and teaching. But there is mystery, too, in how and why God chose to limit Himself and save His people in this way, to be Emmanuel.
It is my hope that I can continue to ponder this truth in my heart, to wait in anticipation as God reveals more to me, in the same way Mary and so many others waited in anticipation of the Promised One who would be King of Kings, Lord of Lords and Wonderful Counselor in a way so unexpected, so humble and yet so powerful -- as "God with us."
Why I'm Okay with my Kids Believing in Santa Claus
Monday, December 27, 2009
I read a couple of blogs this Christmas in which people explained their reasons for why they do not want their kids to believe in Santa Claus. I've appreciated their words and their perspectives; they have been thought-provoking and have created discussion about what we want to do in our family. While I appreciated what others shared about their opinions and their decisions about their families, I didn't agree with everything that was said and that's why our decision is different than those of the blogs I read.
A couple of reasons that people didn't want to do the "santa clause thing" were: the feeling it would stunt the spiritual growth of their kids, encouraging their kids to think there is a reward system for being good (i.e. eat your peas or Santa won't come!) and wanting your kids to trust the good word of their parents and to revel in the generosity of their parents, rather than a fictional person, at Christmas. All of these things are good and I agree as a parent and a Christ-follower that I want my kids to have right understanding of God and His son, Jesus, to trust in my word and to know that salvation is by faith and not good works.
I believed in Santa Claus until about the age of 9 or 10, when I discovered a gift from Santa hidden in hall closet before Christmas morning. I do not believe that my spiritual growth and spiritual knowledge were stunted because I believed in Santa. My parents also never used Santa as a dangling carrot for good behavior for my sister and I. And in our family, we have committed to doing the same. We want obedience to come out of a love for God and for us, a trust that we hold the best interests of our kids and our family in mind at all times.
And while Santa's legend stops short of a great analogy to our Christian faith, I think a belief in Santa can encourage our kids to consider the mystery and generosity that is part of the Christ-filled celebration. Santa Clause comes from the real St. Nicholas, known for his generosity stemming from his faith in God. Our kids will get gifts from us and from Santa. They will experience the generosity of their parents as we give them good gifts, but even more as they see the good gifts of their Heavenly Father, first and foremost in the giving of His Son.
I don't want my kids to forever believe in fairy tales -- life has bumps and valleys, a happily ever after takes work and self-sacrifice and an all-knowing Santa does not exist. But childhood holds a special naivete where these realities do not need to be fully experienced. An innocence that has great joy, security and trust. I want to encourage this wonder and this trust. And while enjoying the fairy tales of childhood, I also want to instill in my family the Truth that is Love, that an all-knowing, all-powerful, always-present God is with us in valleys, in self-sacrifice of marriage, friendship and parenthood. That a generous Father is the giver of good things beyond our understanding. And that the greatest mystery of Christmas is not how Santa gets to every house in one night or knows just what each child wants but instead that God gave up His diety, limiting Himself and His power to come dwell among us first as a tiny baby and then a young man who would give His very life, perfect and without blame, for each person, imperfect and full of blame, who would accept this, the greatest gift of Chistmastime.
I read a couple of blogs this Christmas in which people explained their reasons for why they do not want their kids to believe in Santa Claus. I've appreciated their words and their perspectives; they have been thought-provoking and have created discussion about what we want to do in our family. While I appreciated what others shared about their opinions and their decisions about their families, I didn't agree with everything that was said and that's why our decision is different than those of the blogs I read.
A couple of reasons that people didn't want to do the "santa clause thing" were: the feeling it would stunt the spiritual growth of their kids, encouraging their kids to think there is a reward system for being good (i.e. eat your peas or Santa won't come!) and wanting your kids to trust the good word of their parents and to revel in the generosity of their parents, rather than a fictional person, at Christmas. All of these things are good and I agree as a parent and a Christ-follower that I want my kids to have right understanding of God and His son, Jesus, to trust in my word and to know that salvation is by faith and not good works.
I believed in Santa Claus until about the age of 9 or 10, when I discovered a gift from Santa hidden in hall closet before Christmas morning. I do not believe that my spiritual growth and spiritual knowledge were stunted because I believed in Santa. My parents also never used Santa as a dangling carrot for good behavior for my sister and I. And in our family, we have committed to doing the same. We want obedience to come out of a love for God and for us, a trust that we hold the best interests of our kids and our family in mind at all times.
And while Santa's legend stops short of a great analogy to our Christian faith, I think a belief in Santa can encourage our kids to consider the mystery and generosity that is part of the Christ-filled celebration. Santa Clause comes from the real St. Nicholas, known for his generosity stemming from his faith in God. Our kids will get gifts from us and from Santa. They will experience the generosity of their parents as we give them good gifts, but even more as they see the good gifts of their Heavenly Father, first and foremost in the giving of His Son.
I don't want my kids to forever believe in fairy tales -- life has bumps and valleys, a happily ever after takes work and self-sacrifice and an all-knowing Santa does not exist. But childhood holds a special naivete where these realities do not need to be fully experienced. An innocence that has great joy, security and trust. I want to encourage this wonder and this trust. And while enjoying the fairy tales of childhood, I also want to instill in my family the Truth that is Love, that an all-knowing, all-powerful, always-present God is with us in valleys, in self-sacrifice of marriage, friendship and parenthood. That a generous Father is the giver of good things beyond our understanding. And that the greatest mystery of Christmas is not how Santa gets to every house in one night or knows just what each child wants but instead that God gave up His diety, limiting Himself and His power to come dwell among us first as a tiny baby and then a young man who would give His very life, perfect and without blame, for each person, imperfect and full of blame, who would accept this, the greatest gift of Chistmastime.
The Four Letter Words of Toddlerhood
Sunday, December 27, 2009
So, we've reached it at our house. Mr. Soren is a toddler. The first sign? The little temper-tantrums I've witnessed after saying those four-letter words of toddler-dom: "No," "Wait" and "Stop!" It is generally amusing to watch our sweet-tempered little boy have a little meltdown at that tiny word "no." To watch the cute little face give me a thundercloud frown or his body just drop in half and the crying start because he doesn't like the answer.
I know it probably won't always be so amusing, if the day comes when the little temper-tantrum is not so little or the mini-meltdowns are no longer mini. But I also hope that my attitude will be such that I can absorb these meltdowns as a reality of this stage of growth, a reality that can amuse me rather than cause me stress, anger me or lead me to a meltdown. I pray for that attitude to daily remain positive, to accept Soren's response with amusement and to love him in this developmental stage where he is learning to accept "no" and "wait" as directives that are meant to help him, guide him and enable him to grow in stature and wisdom into the little boy and eventually the young man that God would have Soren to be.
So, we've reached it at our house. Mr. Soren is a toddler. The first sign? The little temper-tantrums I've witnessed after saying those four-letter words of toddler-dom: "No," "Wait" and "Stop!" It is generally amusing to watch our sweet-tempered little boy have a little meltdown at that tiny word "no." To watch the cute little face give me a thundercloud frown or his body just drop in half and the crying start because he doesn't like the answer.
I know it probably won't always be so amusing, if the day comes when the little temper-tantrum is not so little or the mini-meltdowns are no longer mini. But I also hope that my attitude will be such that I can absorb these meltdowns as a reality of this stage of growth, a reality that can amuse me rather than cause me stress, anger me or lead me to a meltdown. I pray for that attitude to daily remain positive, to accept Soren's response with amusement and to love him in this developmental stage where he is learning to accept "no" and "wait" as directives that are meant to help him, guide him and enable him to grow in stature and wisdom into the little boy and eventually the young man that God would have Soren to be.
Great Expectations
Monday, November 30, 2009
I love Christmas. Christmas decorations. Christmas lights. Christmas smells. Christmas music. Christmas movies (cheesy or not). Christmas gatherings. Christmas services. I love love love it.
This year, while I enjoy all of these things, I have also committed myself to be more intentional about remembering the greatest part of Christmas -- God's great and tiny gift. Amidst the lights, the smells, the music, I look forward with anticipation at the way God will reveal Himself to me as I take pause to reflect in a deeper way upon what it means that Jesus came to earth, relinquishing His deity. To ponder what it must have been like for Mary, as she glowed with pregnancy, for the shepherds as they tiptoed into the stable to peer at this newborn baby, for the wise men who understood there was something special about that star and that babe.
As we begin the advent season, I want to experience the awe and expectation of God's prophesied and promised Messiah arriving to a humble girl in a humble stable. I want to realize in a fresh way the glory of Emmanuel, God With Us.
I love Christmas. Christmas decorations. Christmas lights. Christmas smells. Christmas music. Christmas movies (cheesy or not). Christmas gatherings. Christmas services. I love love love it.
This year, while I enjoy all of these things, I have also committed myself to be more intentional about remembering the greatest part of Christmas -- God's great and tiny gift. Amidst the lights, the smells, the music, I look forward with anticipation at the way God will reveal Himself to me as I take pause to reflect in a deeper way upon what it means that Jesus came to earth, relinquishing His deity. To ponder what it must have been like for Mary, as she glowed with pregnancy, for the shepherds as they tiptoed into the stable to peer at this newborn baby, for the wise men who understood there was something special about that star and that babe.
As we begin the advent season, I want to experience the awe and expectation of God's prophesied and promised Messiah arriving to a humble girl in a humble stable. I want to realize in a fresh way the glory of Emmanuel, God With Us.
One Year Postscript
Monday, November 23, 2009
This one goes out to all the other moms of infants. You are not alone. And I hope this encourages you, as the other mom did me, to always remember to love our husbands well.
I was listening to another mom talk about the first year of motherhood. One of the things she pointed out stuck out to me, because I experienced it as well. It's the other side of parenthood: second-fiddle-hood. That first year, while filled with so much fun and excitement, can also be really difficult on the marriage. 4 am feedings, night/day confusion, chasing an energetic crawler around, putting so much energy and focus on to this little person who can do so little for himself. These things drain a person and steal time from that so precious and primary of relationships, marriage. Hopefully, as we move into the second year, our priorities can shift back, our energies can be poured not just into this precious child but also to one another, to the marriage that is the bedrock of our family.
In our family, our desire is for God to be the center of our home, and our marriage to follow in second place for priorities. We love our child and I believe that the strength of that love will be attested to by the strength of the marriage of his parents. We will love our child well and raise him with the knowledge that there is a Creator God who loves him and desires a relationship with him; our hope is that Soren will passionately and obediently follow Him all of his days. And this can come only as we, his parents, first love God, second love one another, and third, love Soren and future children our family may include.
This one goes out to all the other moms of infants. You are not alone. And I hope this encourages you, as the other mom did me, to always remember to love our husbands well.
I was listening to another mom talk about the first year of motherhood. One of the things she pointed out stuck out to me, because I experienced it as well. It's the other side of parenthood: second-fiddle-hood. That first year, while filled with so much fun and excitement, can also be really difficult on the marriage. 4 am feedings, night/day confusion, chasing an energetic crawler around, putting so much energy and focus on to this little person who can do so little for himself. These things drain a person and steal time from that so precious and primary of relationships, marriage. Hopefully, as we move into the second year, our priorities can shift back, our energies can be poured not just into this precious child but also to one another, to the marriage that is the bedrock of our family.
In our family, our desire is for God to be the center of our home, and our marriage to follow in second place for priorities. We love our child and I believe that the strength of that love will be attested to by the strength of the marriage of his parents. We will love our child well and raise him with the knowledge that there is a Creator God who loves him and desires a relationship with him; our hope is that Soren will passionately and obediently follow Him all of his days. And this can come only as we, his parents, first love God, second love one another, and third, love Soren and future children our family may include.
One year
Thursday, November 19, 2009
So, my intention had been to write a blog entry on Soren's first birthday. I'd been pondering it, I had chosen the perfect title (5:29 pm) and the...the day flew by without a keystroke. So, now I'm finally getting around to putting finger to key to jot down some thoughts on Soren's first year, one month late.
It is amazing to me how fast that first year of life goes. And how much that little life changes. Soren's weight more than tripled in that first year. He grew 10 inches in length. He went from the tiny infant who slept all the time to the little boy who could stand on his own. We watched as he learned to smile, hold his head, roll, sit, eat food, crawl, feed himself and stand. His ready laugh and funny personality make him a little ham that brings joy to our lives. He can take things out and put things back in to boxes, cupboards and baskets. His accomplishments are simple, but they are so great.
It has been such fun to watch this little boy learn about his world. There is so much to learn and do and it's exhausting as an adult to go through it all. Babies are miraculous creatures. The change in one year, in many ways, is indescribable.
Soren has accomplished much. He continues to amaze me as I watch him learn and grow about his world. I pray for him each day that he will know God, who created him and loves him and that Soren will walk in obedience to Him. God has created a wonderful little boy, has great plans for him as he grows into a man. I trust in the Lord to complete a good work in him. And I'll do my best to guide and to lead, and to sit back and watch His handiwork -- one day and one year at a time. Happy Birthday, sweet boy.
So, my intention had been to write a blog entry on Soren's first birthday. I'd been pondering it, I had chosen the perfect title (5:29 pm) and the...the day flew by without a keystroke. So, now I'm finally getting around to putting finger to key to jot down some thoughts on Soren's first year, one month late.
It is amazing to me how fast that first year of life goes. And how much that little life changes. Soren's weight more than tripled in that first year. He grew 10 inches in length. He went from the tiny infant who slept all the time to the little boy who could stand on his own. We watched as he learned to smile, hold his head, roll, sit, eat food, crawl, feed himself and stand. His ready laugh and funny personality make him a little ham that brings joy to our lives. He can take things out and put things back in to boxes, cupboards and baskets. His accomplishments are simple, but they are so great.
It has been such fun to watch this little boy learn about his world. There is so much to learn and do and it's exhausting as an adult to go through it all. Babies are miraculous creatures. The change in one year, in many ways, is indescribable.
Soren has accomplished much. He continues to amaze me as I watch him learn and grow about his world. I pray for him each day that he will know God, who created him and loves him and that Soren will walk in obedience to Him. God has created a wonderful little boy, has great plans for him as he grows into a man. I trust in the Lord to complete a good work in him. And I'll do my best to guide and to lead, and to sit back and watch His handiwork -- one day and one year at a time. Happy Birthday, sweet boy.
Stop and Smell the Roses
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
If there's one thing parenthood has helped me learn (and trust me, there is WAY more than one thing I've learned) it's to take the time to enjoy my family. I tend towards the anal, always-have-to-be-doing-something-productive end of the spectrum (some might say I am solidly anchoring that end of the spectrum). But over the last 10+ months, motherhood has taught me that it's okay to relax on a Saturday morning and just leisurely enjoy my family. I don't have to clean the house first or get Erich to mow the lawn. We can just relax, enjoy Soren, enjoy breakfast, enjoy one another's company. And that's OKAY. In fact, it's good. I'm pretty good at doing that in the summer when we're at the cabin and away from the sight of all the housework that needs to be done. So hopefully I can take that with me into the fall and winter months. Of course, the house needs to be cleaned and the lawn mowed. Weeds pulled or snow shoveled. But these days of parenting a young child are limited and it's important to enjoy them, to take the time to be relaxed together as a family and have fun together. I only wish I'd learned this lesson better as a newlywed.
If there's one thing parenthood has helped me learn (and trust me, there is WAY more than one thing I've learned) it's to take the time to enjoy my family. I tend towards the anal, always-have-to-be-doing-something-productive end of the spectrum (some might say I am solidly anchoring that end of the spectrum). But over the last 10+ months, motherhood has taught me that it's okay to relax on a Saturday morning and just leisurely enjoy my family. I don't have to clean the house first or get Erich to mow the lawn. We can just relax, enjoy Soren, enjoy breakfast, enjoy one another's company. And that's OKAY. In fact, it's good. I'm pretty good at doing that in the summer when we're at the cabin and away from the sight of all the housework that needs to be done. So hopefully I can take that with me into the fall and winter months. Of course, the house needs to be cleaned and the lawn mowed. Weeds pulled or snow shoveled. But these days of parenting a young child are limited and it's important to enjoy them, to take the time to be relaxed together as a family and have fun together. I only wish I'd learned this lesson better as a newlywed.
Cutting Teeth
Monday, August 31, 2009
Soren started getting his first tooth today at the ripe old age of 10 1/2 months and all I can say is, the phrase "cutting teeth" is aptly given to the process. I've rarely seen my little guy so distraught, crabby and unwilling to sleep despite exhaustion. I finally figured it out around lunch time today and gave the little cutter some Tylenol and something cold to chew on. The difference was noticeable in minutes! My happy guy returned.
I called Daddy to share the exciting news about the long awaited tooth. He'd already heard about the crankiness and not sleeping. His response hit it right on the nose: "And 'we' get to do this for every tooth." (Okay, so maybe not that profound, but I hadn't viewed it in that light yet.) Let's just take this one painful little tooth at a time.
Soren started getting his first tooth today at the ripe old age of 10 1/2 months and all I can say is, the phrase "cutting teeth" is aptly given to the process. I've rarely seen my little guy so distraught, crabby and unwilling to sleep despite exhaustion. I finally figured it out around lunch time today and gave the little cutter some Tylenol and something cold to chew on. The difference was noticeable in minutes! My happy guy returned.
I called Daddy to share the exciting news about the long awaited tooth. He'd already heard about the crankiness and not sleeping. His response hit it right on the nose: "And 'we' get to do this for every tooth." (Okay, so maybe not that profound, but I hadn't viewed it in that light yet.) Let's just take this one painful little tooth at a time.
For the Love of Puke
Monday, August 31, 2009
**Disclaimer** The following post may be a little graphic for those with a low puke tolerance.
Before this weekend, I had spent one night of each of the last 2 weekends covered in Soren's puke. Not cute baby spit up; real, live, acidic, burn your throat, let me show you what I ate for dinner puke. The first time, I had just settled in for a relaxing evening at the cabin while Erich got crying baby duty when a frantic call for help floated down the stairs. I went up to find Erich and Soren doused in the aromatic orange stuff. I quickly started removing Soren's clothes and then took him so Erich could begin to change. To find myself moments later covered in the orange stuff myself. Soren and I spent most of the next hour sitting on a chair in the bathroom, as I held him close to me, avoiding the puke side of my clothing, hopeing it was over. Lots of worry later, he seemed to have finished and we put an exhausted little boy to bed.
The next weekend, Erich managed to avoid the bath, as he took a phone call. So, I went in to comfort a sobbing baby and moments later... found myself covered in puke. I was wiser this time, standing in one spot for the next wave and not bothering to remove any clothing just yet. I was able to get Erich's attention and Soren and I moved quickly to the bathtub to sit out the episode while Erich started in on the carpet. Again, I spent most of the next hour sitting in the tub with my puke-y clothes while a mostly naked baby once again showed me what he ate for dinner -- all of it.
But somehow, this didn't bother me. If it had been some random guy's puke. Hose me down ASAP -- and a sanitizing shower. Erich's puke -- still disgusting. My own puke, yes, I still want a shower right away. But I all I was thinking about was holding my sad, tired, sick little boy and wishing I could make him feel better. It reminded me of an illustration a fellow youth pastor had once shared about a friend of his. This dad had gone to his crying son in the middle of the night to comfort him, only to find him covered in poop when he picked him up and held him close. But he held him until he was calm. And his observation was, this is what God does for his children. We are all covered in the poo of our sin and God loves us and holds us close when we are hurting. When I heard this, I thought it was a poignant and powerful illustration.
But now, as a parent, I'm not so sure. Poop and puke from my children are just not that disgusting. I mean, yes there are times when I open up a diaper to find that unpleasant surprise, but it doesn't make me queasy or fear I'll lose my lunch (although I sometimes fear Erich will; dads seem to have a different tolerance level). I've spent the last week thinking, that's a great illustration to share with high school students, who haven't yet experienced this type of joy in parenthood, but for those of us who have? Maybe not. Until it dawned on me today. Maybe that's the point. When His children are hurting, all God can think about is holding us close. It doesn't bother Him that we're all covered in puke.
**Disclaimer** The following post may be a little graphic for those with a low puke tolerance.
Before this weekend, I had spent one night of each of the last 2 weekends covered in Soren's puke. Not cute baby spit up; real, live, acidic, burn your throat, let me show you what I ate for dinner puke. The first time, I had just settled in for a relaxing evening at the cabin while Erich got crying baby duty when a frantic call for help floated down the stairs. I went up to find Erich and Soren doused in the aromatic orange stuff. I quickly started removing Soren's clothes and then took him so Erich could begin to change. To find myself moments later covered in the orange stuff myself. Soren and I spent most of the next hour sitting on a chair in the bathroom, as I held him close to me, avoiding the puke side of my clothing, hopeing it was over. Lots of worry later, he seemed to have finished and we put an exhausted little boy to bed.
The next weekend, Erich managed to avoid the bath, as he took a phone call. So, I went in to comfort a sobbing baby and moments later... found myself covered in puke. I was wiser this time, standing in one spot for the next wave and not bothering to remove any clothing just yet. I was able to get Erich's attention and Soren and I moved quickly to the bathtub to sit out the episode while Erich started in on the carpet. Again, I spent most of the next hour sitting in the tub with my puke-y clothes while a mostly naked baby once again showed me what he ate for dinner -- all of it.
But somehow, this didn't bother me. If it had been some random guy's puke. Hose me down ASAP -- and a sanitizing shower. Erich's puke -- still disgusting. My own puke, yes, I still want a shower right away. But I all I was thinking about was holding my sad, tired, sick little boy and wishing I could make him feel better. It reminded me of an illustration a fellow youth pastor had once shared about a friend of his. This dad had gone to his crying son in the middle of the night to comfort him, only to find him covered in poop when he picked him up and held him close. But he held him until he was calm. And his observation was, this is what God does for his children. We are all covered in the poo of our sin and God loves us and holds us close when we are hurting. When I heard this, I thought it was a poignant and powerful illustration.
But now, as a parent, I'm not so sure. Poop and puke from my children are just not that disgusting. I mean, yes there are times when I open up a diaper to find that unpleasant surprise, but it doesn't make me queasy or fear I'll lose my lunch (although I sometimes fear Erich will; dads seem to have a different tolerance level). I've spent the last week thinking, that's a great illustration to share with high school students, who haven't yet experienced this type of joy in parenthood, but for those of us who have? Maybe not. Until it dawned on me today. Maybe that's the point. When His children are hurting, all God can think about is holding us close. It doesn't bother Him that we're all covered in puke.
What's in a Name?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Lately, I've been really struggling with the routine of being a stay-at-home-mom. Wake up. Feed baby. Play until nap time (or go back to sleep if I'm lucky enough to have Erich at home long enough to get him down again). Eat breakfast. Chores. Baby up. Play. Feed baby. Chase baby (he's crawling now!). Nap time. Eat lunch. Empty dishwasher if I have time. Baby up. Play. Feed baby. Play. Nap. Feed baby.
Some days I wonder -- is there more to life than the routine of feeding and napping a baby? Some days, I enjoy the relaxation of nap time by reading a book or napping myself. Others, I force myself to get to the inch-thick layer of dust on the furniture or take a vaccuum to the carpet or do the dishes... again.
Don't get me wrong. I love Soren and I love that I am blessed enough to be able to stay home with him, to go to Storytime at the library or ECFE classes. It is a joy and a privilage. But there are days when I become frustrated that my big accomplishment is one of the above named household chores -- and it will need to be done again within days. I wonder about the greater purpose or try to figure out "what I'm supposed to do with my life."
More than once, well-meaning people have said, "Your family is your ministry (or purpose or focus) in this stage of your life." It's meant to encourage me. And yes, I agree that is my primary area of ministry of ministry and focus. But God wired and gifted me for other things, too, and I believe He wants me to always be searching for ways to invest in other people, as well. I have known many (usually stay-at-home) moms who have become so self- and even more kid-focused that it becomes a negative attribute. My family is my ministry, but I also need to use the gifts and talents God has given me. For my own sanity and as a model to my family that we are to use our time for God's purposes and glory.
I don't want to become so inward focused that my family believes I am only here to cater to their needs, their entertainment, their desires. I am so much more that "Mom." And it's okay for me to feel that way. It's okay for me to want to pursue interests and ministries outside of my family. For some people, that's their only calling. That is wonderful and beautiful. But I believe God has asked me to spend time in other ways, as well. To use my education, training and experience to serve our church, to encourage other moms, and to invest in students or adults in ways that enable me to serve my family first and foremost, but that build up and equip the Kingdom of God, as well.
I'm still trying to figure out what that means. I may overcommit myself at times in trying to figure it out and I'll have to scale back. Because I am Mama, too. And I look forward to hearing that name out of the mouth of a precious little boy who I get to see each and every day as he learns and grows and digs himself deeper into my heart.
Lately, I've been really struggling with the routine of being a stay-at-home-mom. Wake up. Feed baby. Play until nap time (or go back to sleep if I'm lucky enough to have Erich at home long enough to get him down again). Eat breakfast. Chores. Baby up. Play. Feed baby. Chase baby (he's crawling now!). Nap time. Eat lunch. Empty dishwasher if I have time. Baby up. Play. Feed baby. Play. Nap. Feed baby.
Some days I wonder -- is there more to life than the routine of feeding and napping a baby? Some days, I enjoy the relaxation of nap time by reading a book or napping myself. Others, I force myself to get to the inch-thick layer of dust on the furniture or take a vaccuum to the carpet or do the dishes... again.
Don't get me wrong. I love Soren and I love that I am blessed enough to be able to stay home with him, to go to Storytime at the library or ECFE classes. It is a joy and a privilage. But there are days when I become frustrated that my big accomplishment is one of the above named household chores -- and it will need to be done again within days. I wonder about the greater purpose or try to figure out "what I'm supposed to do with my life."
More than once, well-meaning people have said, "Your family is your ministry (or purpose or focus) in this stage of your life." It's meant to encourage me. And yes, I agree that is my primary area of ministry of ministry and focus. But God wired and gifted me for other things, too, and I believe He wants me to always be searching for ways to invest in other people, as well. I have known many (usually stay-at-home) moms who have become so self- and even more kid-focused that it becomes a negative attribute. My family is my ministry, but I also need to use the gifts and talents God has given me. For my own sanity and as a model to my family that we are to use our time for God's purposes and glory.
I don't want to become so inward focused that my family believes I am only here to cater to their needs, their entertainment, their desires. I am so much more that "Mom." And it's okay for me to feel that way. It's okay for me to want to pursue interests and ministries outside of my family. For some people, that's their only calling. That is wonderful and beautiful. But I believe God has asked me to spend time in other ways, as well. To use my education, training and experience to serve our church, to encourage other moms, and to invest in students or adults in ways that enable me to serve my family first and foremost, but that build up and equip the Kingdom of God, as well.
I'm still trying to figure out what that means. I may overcommit myself at times in trying to figure it out and I'll have to scale back. Because I am Mama, too. And I look forward to hearing that name out of the mouth of a precious little boy who I get to see each and every day as he learns and grows and digs himself deeper into my heart.
They grow up so quickly
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Today Soren and I went to lunch with my mom and then to Target because Mor Mor decided Soren needed a "big boy" toy (we came out with several). Soren sat in the cart by himself for the first time and it got me to thinking about how quickly he's growing up. This first year of life is so full of changes. I can't imagine Soren as the little baby he was when he was born. He's really becoming a little boy now, not so much a baby. It is a joy to watch him grow and change, to go from this little thing that cannot do more than eat and sleep to a little boy who can sit and roll and scoot himself around the floor. A little boy who can babble and bounce and bang things. A baby (for now) who lights up when I walk in the room and lights up our lives.
I happened to have our camera with me, so I took a picture of him sitting in the cart and wandered if I'd be doing this with all my kids. Probably not -- firstborns get all those pictures and memories that other kids don't.... But I will do my best to cherish these precious milestones of each of my kids.
Today Soren and I went to lunch with my mom and then to Target because Mor Mor decided Soren needed a "big boy" toy (we came out with several). Soren sat in the cart by himself for the first time and it got me to thinking about how quickly he's growing up. This first year of life is so full of changes. I can't imagine Soren as the little baby he was when he was born. He's really becoming a little boy now, not so much a baby. It is a joy to watch him grow and change, to go from this little thing that cannot do more than eat and sleep to a little boy who can sit and roll and scoot himself around the floor. A little boy who can babble and bounce and bang things. A baby (for now) who lights up when I walk in the room and lights up our lives.
I happened to have our camera with me, so I took a picture of him sitting in the cart and wandered if I'd be doing this with all my kids. Probably not -- firstborns get all those pictures and memories that other kids don't.... But I will do my best to cherish these precious milestones of each of my kids.
Remembering Dad
Written on June 21, 2009 on FB...
Whether he is old and grey when he leaves us or he is gone "before his time" it's always too soon. It's hard to say good-bye to the man who has always been there. Dads are special people. They love and teach us. They cheer and support us. They are the voice of reason and wisdom when we're faced with difficult choices. In the eyes of his children, Dad is a superhero who can do anything.
But, now he's gone and on Father's Day I am thinking of him and all that he was for me. As a baby, he held me. He was patient with me as a toddler when I wanted to "help" him with the yard work. He taught me how to ride my Strawberry Shortcake bike with no training wheels. He gave us the world by making us a tire swing, rope swing and tree house. As I started to drive he'd slip me $20s for gas or a night out with friends. He supported and encouraged me through college and was there to cheer me on when I graduated.
When I moved home after college, Dad and I would occasionally meet for lunch. They were special times for me where we could laugh and talk, just the two of us. He took time out of his work day and invited me to know more of his life as an adult daughter and I welcomed him more into mine. The week my dad died, he'd had a lunch date with me on his calendar. But even superhero dads are still human.
The last time I saw my dad was Father's Day, very briefly as I hugged him goodbye before leaving for a week with several high school students. I knew I would see him again the next week and we would celebrate his 50th birthday. But that's not what happened. So quickly, he was gone from our lives.
There are so many things that I always thought my dad would be a part of and his absence is felt deeply. My dad was not able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. He was not able to watch as I graduated with my Master's degree and was ordained in ministry. He was not there to welcome his first grandchild to the world or to do for him all the wonderful things he did for me. And I don't get to see him become a grandpa.
He is missed. My dad was not perfect, but he taught me a great deal and was part of making me who I am today. I wish he was here to be honored today, but I know that he is living more fully and perfectly in heaven with his Heavely Father. And one day I will be with him again, maybe having lunch together, talking and laughing.
I love you, Dad.
Whether he is old and grey when he leaves us or he is gone "before his time" it's always too soon. It's hard to say good-bye to the man who has always been there. Dads are special people. They love and teach us. They cheer and support us. They are the voice of reason and wisdom when we're faced with difficult choices. In the eyes of his children, Dad is a superhero who can do anything.
But, now he's gone and on Father's Day I am thinking of him and all that he was for me. As a baby, he held me. He was patient with me as a toddler when I wanted to "help" him with the yard work. He taught me how to ride my Strawberry Shortcake bike with no training wheels. He gave us the world by making us a tire swing, rope swing and tree house. As I started to drive he'd slip me $20s for gas or a night out with friends. He supported and encouraged me through college and was there to cheer me on when I graduated.
When I moved home after college, Dad and I would occasionally meet for lunch. They were special times for me where we could laugh and talk, just the two of us. He took time out of his work day and invited me to know more of his life as an adult daughter and I welcomed him more into mine. The week my dad died, he'd had a lunch date with me on his calendar. But even superhero dads are still human.
The last time I saw my dad was Father's Day, very briefly as I hugged him goodbye before leaving for a week with several high school students. I knew I would see him again the next week and we would celebrate his 50th birthday. But that's not what happened. So quickly, he was gone from our lives.
There are so many things that I always thought my dad would be a part of and his absence is felt deeply. My dad was not able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. He was not able to watch as I graduated with my Master's degree and was ordained in ministry. He was not there to welcome his first grandchild to the world or to do for him all the wonderful things he did for me. And I don't get to see him become a grandpa.
He is missed. My dad was not perfect, but he taught me a great deal and was part of making me who I am today. I wish he was here to be honored today, but I know that he is living more fully and perfectly in heaven with his Heavely Father. And one day I will be with him again, maybe having lunch together, talking and laughing.
I love you, Dad.
Relationships
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
I got an email from a former student and friend the other day. She was talking about friendships and how, in her stage of life, college, it is difficult at times to make the effort towards meaningful friendships because it will all come to an end. I was thinking about that, because I had just earlier been mourning the distance from my closest college friends. Time and geography have created a distance between us, that is true. And yet I don't know if I would have survived college without those dear friends of mine.
They became my lifeline, my family, while I was away from home. We shared deep thoughts, we shared life-changing experience, we became adults together. Even if I had foreseen ahead of time the distance we would now have between us, I would make those friends. My friend's email asked, "What's the point?" I think the point is we need relationships. The reality is that people will always come and go from our lives (and many also stay). But those valuable friendships remain valuable for what was given and received, what was learned, what was experienced together.
I miss my friends. I miss the deepness of relationships that I had in college. I think those relationships are the significant reason so many people look back on college as the best time of their life. I cherish those friends and mourn the closeness we used to have. But I'm glad we had it, and it is a joy when we do have the chance to talk or even better, to see each other.
I have just been reading an article about MySpace.com and other social networking websites. The article contends that one problem with these sites is lazy relationality it promotes. Teens don't want to do the hard work of sitting face to face in real, quality relationships. There is little authenticity, as kids portray themselves not as they are. One teenage girl was even quoted as saying that she prefers that to calling them because she usually just wants to leave a message, since there isn't usually enough to say for a whole conversation. What is that?
We were made for relationships, with God and with other people. We need them and we need them to be meaningful.
I got an email from a former student and friend the other day. She was talking about friendships and how, in her stage of life, college, it is difficult at times to make the effort towards meaningful friendships because it will all come to an end. I was thinking about that, because I had just earlier been mourning the distance from my closest college friends. Time and geography have created a distance between us, that is true. And yet I don't know if I would have survived college without those dear friends of mine.
They became my lifeline, my family, while I was away from home. We shared deep thoughts, we shared life-changing experience, we became adults together. Even if I had foreseen ahead of time the distance we would now have between us, I would make those friends. My friend's email asked, "What's the point?" I think the point is we need relationships. The reality is that people will always come and go from our lives (and many also stay). But those valuable friendships remain valuable for what was given and received, what was learned, what was experienced together.
I miss my friends. I miss the deepness of relationships that I had in college. I think those relationships are the significant reason so many people look back on college as the best time of their life. I cherish those friends and mourn the closeness we used to have. But I'm glad we had it, and it is a joy when we do have the chance to talk or even better, to see each other.
I have just been reading an article about MySpace.com and other social networking websites. The article contends that one problem with these sites is lazy relationality it promotes. Teens don't want to do the hard work of sitting face to face in real, quality relationships. There is little authenticity, as kids portray themselves not as they are. One teenage girl was even quoted as saying that she prefers that to calling them because she usually just wants to leave a message, since there isn't usually enough to say for a whole conversation. What is that?
We were made for relationships, with God and with other people. We need them and we need them to be meaningful.
Purpose
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Tomorrow Erich and I are leaving for New York to visit his brothers and his family -- our nephews!!!! We get to see Kaleb for the first time since he was born, about a month ago. And Connor's birthday was last week, so it's the perfect time for us to go.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about purpose in life. I have experienced several life changes over the last few months, finishing grad school, getting married, moving and finally I am no longer working full-time but 3/4-time. This last change has left me with a lot more free time than I have had in a long time and in many ways I am enjoying it. But the time has also left me feeling empy and devoid of purpose. I was designed for more productivity, more purposeful action than watching tv or reading for several hours a day. So I've been pursuing what it measnt o have purupose -- is redecorating my house enough productivity? Or developing a hobby for cooking? Or will I find my purpose in a new job or a volunteer opportunity?
I've been left with a lot of unanswered questions that I will continue to seek answers for........
Tomorrow Erich and I are leaving for New York to visit his brothers and his family -- our nephews!!!! We get to see Kaleb for the first time since he was born, about a month ago. And Connor's birthday was last week, so it's the perfect time for us to go.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about purpose in life. I have experienced several life changes over the last few months, finishing grad school, getting married, moving and finally I am no longer working full-time but 3/4-time. This last change has left me with a lot more free time than I have had in a long time and in many ways I am enjoying it. But the time has also left me feeling empy and devoid of purpose. I was designed for more productivity, more purposeful action than watching tv or reading for several hours a day. So I've been pursuing what it measnt o have purupose -- is redecorating my house enough productivity? Or developing a hobby for cooking? Or will I find my purpose in a new job or a volunteer opportunity?
I've been left with a lot of unanswered questions that I will continue to seek answers for........
Getting Started
Monday, August 28, 2006
I was surfing the internet the other day and decided that it was high time I start a blog. I type faster than I write and just want a place where I can work out some of my thoughts as I explore new ideas and continue on my journey of faith in Jesus Christ. I want to write about life, theology, doubt, and just generally what my daily experiences draw me to process.
I recently got married, so right now all the pictures I have are wedding pictures. Maybe some day I'll have a bigger variety of pics to show!
I was surfing the internet the other day and decided that it was high time I start a blog. I type faster than I write and just want a place where I can work out some of my thoughts as I explore new ideas and continue on my journey of faith in Jesus Christ. I want to write about life, theology, doubt, and just generally what my daily experiences draw me to process.
I recently got married, so right now all the pictures I have are wedding pictures. Maybe some day I'll have a bigger variety of pics to show!
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