Serving is something about which I am passionate; I have always been blessed by serving others and the testimony of Scripture points us to service as a lifestyle. The example of Christ is one of service -- the ultimate act was His death for us on the cross, but in his living there were many as well. He got in trouble with the religious leaders of the day for ministering to people in need of healing on the Sabbath. The night of his arrest, He served his 12 closest friends by taking on the nastiest job reserved for the lowest household servant: he washed the dirt, manure and sludge-crusted feet of his disciples after a long day of travel. Paul was so overwhelmed by Jesus Christ's example of servanthood that he wrote a beautiful hymn about it, Jesus "made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant...."
With a three-year-old and a one-year-old, life is hectic and much of my time and energy is focused on them -- and keeping up with their busy energy! By nap time each day, I'm wiped out and the most I can contemplate is sitting on the couch. And the same goes for bedtime. Cleaning the house? Maybe when they're eight. Reading a book? If it's close enough to reach from where I sit. Finally finishing the "craft it forward" project I was supposed to send out last December? Maybe if there's a good show on t.v. and I've had caffeine. So serving someone else?
Actually though, I have been highly involved in serving in a number of areas in my church and other ways even after (actually, since) my kids were born. I'm not saying that to toot my own horn. I have actually come to realize that I may be doing too much. There are a number of reasons for that and I have been blessed by each thing I've done. But now it might be time to reevaluate.
I think it's important to serve, even in this time-consuming phase of mothering young children. And unfortunately, I've heard from lots of moms in my circles who talk about their family as their area of service and ministry. That is so true and I agree with that 100%. My husband and my two boys are people that I am called to bless and encourage and serve. The Bible teaches that parents are to raise their children in the ways and knowledge of God -- my boys are two of my disciples.
The problem is, I think Biblically we see that God has called us to minister beyond our family, as well. When we focus solely on our children (and our husbands), there are problems. First, we are not living our full calling; we are missing out on things God wants to teach us through ministry, ways He wants to stretch us or bless us or shine light into darkness. Second, we are missing out on an opportunity to teach our kids that it's not all about them and to model service for them the way Jesus did for all of us.
Because I have heard so many people talk about their family as their ministry, I think my own mistake has been to commit to do too much and take too much of my energy away from my family. I felt like I had to prove by doing the truth and reality of our call to minister in every stage. I have personally been convicted of that and had that confirmed when my pastor shared something to some moms -- God values mothering. Our world in many ways does not value mothering (particularly the stay-at-home variety). I saw that recently when in an article arguing for work/life/family balance the author states, "dual incomes have become indispensable." Hmm, it was dispensable enough in our family -- though of course we make certain "sacrifices" because of the lower income.
Back to my point though, about learning that God values mothering. I love my kids and love mothering them. But there are days when I do not give that role enough esteem. Instead I wonder what I will do that is more exciting, as I focus on the tasks of the daily grind and lose sight of the big picture. Thankfully, God sees the bigger picture and uses people to remind me of it. I needed to remove the blindspot of undervaluing my own mothering so I can encourage other moms towards service. So, I'm cutting back. Because the truth is, if I do too much, not only does that affect me and my family, I'm taking away the opportunity for others to minister in areas of interest or giftedness.
So, how do we serve in every stage? In what ways can a young mother with little time and emotional energy give? And how do we support those moms who make the sacrifice to give more, in more time -consuming rolls of ministry? I've heard practical examples from many moms. Here are some ideas that range from minimal time commitment to great time commitment -- but all things I know moms do.
- Baking cookies with your kids to deliver to neighbors
- Meals for new parents or someone with medical issues
- Bringing kids to a nursing home or senior center or group home to interact with residents
- Serve in the church nursery once a month
- Sing or play an instrument with the church worship team
- Have brown bags of small water bottles and snack crackers for homeless people if you drive through areas you see them.
- Have your kids go with you to collect cans from neighbors for a food shelf
- Plant flowers for senior center, city park or a neighbor
- Volunteer with a youth organization or your church
- Lead a moms group
- Do occasional babysitting for a single parent or parents who need it
- Send a note to someone who needs encouragement
- Pack a box with your kids for Operation Christmas Child
What ideas do you have?
Another way to serve is to encourage and serve moms who are serving. Some moms give a lot of their time and energy to serve, committing to ongoing service or big responsibility roles. Encouraging them is an act of service we busy moms can take on:
- Watch her kids while she does some of the tasks of her role
- Write a note thanking her for all she does
- Pray for or with her
- Offer to help with a one time need
- Affirm the use of her gifts, talents and abilities in specific ways
- If she serves in a way that blesses you personally, share how it has impacted you
