It's naptime and I'm watching the light snow fall, as it has most of the day. The furthest thing from most MN minds is spring. Actually, it might be the CLOSEST thing on our minds, but still pretty far away. But yesterday I was "inspired" to share a little about the spring cleaning of the soul that I have been seeking to do lately. And it involves my house, too.
I have read and heard more and more people talk about downsizing their "stuff." There are a lot of reasons they do it - sell it to make money; fewer things to take care of, maintain, dust; an attempt to simplify life; a concerted effort to focus less on things and more on contentment. Some people share my spiritual faith and are doing it as an act of obedience or discipline for God, so they can experience greater closeness to Him. Some are doing it for themselves. But the benefits and outcomes they all share have made sense to me and resonate with me. In my pregnancy nesting, I began to shed some of these attachments, some out of necessity to make room for Baby 'Tias and some to make life easier when I have limited time to clean and some for that age-old search for contentment.
This weekend, that desire to pare down our stuff hit again and I realized anew the spiritual benefits for our family and myself if we can shed some of this stuff. Our culture tells us more, new, better and what's new or better is constantly changing. It is easy for me to get drawn into that mentality and that breeds discontent. I look at our house, trying to make room for the growing number of toys, books, and gear of a growing family, and realize how our stuff can begin to take over and take ownership of me when I let it.
I'm tired of trying to find places for everything and keep everything in it's place and free of dust, clutter, etc. I feel as though it has taken over my life and I want to make a change. I want my heart and my time to be set on bigger things, heavenly things. I want to have time to train up my children in the Way they should go, not spend my hours dusting and sweeping. And so I have set my mind to get serious about getting rid of things.
I have done several dumps and purges over time, giving away gently used household items, knick knacks and clothes on a regular basis. But I've determined that it is time to really get serious, to finally get rid of some of the stuff that we've been meaning to (like the previous owners old paint they kindly left, our own old paint, giant old computer monitors) as well as the stuff that I keep around thinking I might want it, use it or wear it at some point down the road. This stuff is stifling me and it is preventing me attaching myself to Christ, because I am attached to it.
I believe that if I can part with some of my material possessions, Christ will be able to take greater possession of my heart and my character, which is what I want. When I am not tied to the care and cleaning and organizing of so much stuff I can be more tied to the care, training and teaching of myself and my children, and the Holy Spirit can do a greater work in me because I have more time, energy and devotion for the things that matter to me and not the things that consume my house. If I can complete this spring cleaning of my house, it will affect my soul and spirit. I will be better able to turn my attention to Him and His desires...and it is that to which I am called through His Word and Work.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The Next Stage
Over the last few weeks, I have noticed a change in Soren. And I'm not just talking about becoming a big brother. He has entered a new stage in his own right -- interactive and imaginary play. It is so fun to watch him enter this phase, to hear him scripting out his play based on books we've read, the Bob the Builder and Thomas the Train movies we've watched. Even when it's at the dinner table playing with his food, it's hard not to smile and indulge while he plays out a scene with actions and dialogue that he has heard or created.
Soren has become more independent in his play with this change and it is so much fun to sit on the couch with Mattias and watch Soren use his tow trucks to rescue the truck stuck in the mud, to hear as the trains greet each other and ask how they're doing or go up and down the mountain of the couch cushions. The noise of his hammer pounding on the sturdy plastic of his slide is made more bearable by the sounds of his sweet voice as he imagines himself building, "Oh, I missed a nail." or "I better go build." He is even starting to use the (toy) cell phone he got for Christmas to speak -- "Hello, this is Soren. I'm very busy...doing my job." which is said after informing me, "It's ringing, I better go answer it." It all just melts my heart!
Despite the lack of a playmate at home, Soren has found one in Marley, or as he calls him, "Barley." Soren has started to dialogue with Marley and interact with him, sometimes in doggie appropriate ways like throwing a ball for him and then asking him to drop it so he can throw it again. But also as though Marley is his friend and capable of responding to him, "Where should we go, Barley?" "Come with Soren, Barley." "What should be do, Barley?" I love watching Soren interact with our dog and though often when he's with other kids I am not around, I know that means he has reached a stage where his play is becoming more interactive and will involve other people.
This little boy was still so much my baby 4 weeks ago, and yet along with the addition of a new baby in the family, these weeks have brought about so much growth in my oldest son. Everything about him is bigger, wiser, more "grown up" than a month ago. He is a charming, active, intelligent little boy who is learning yet another way to explore and interact with his world and it is a bittersweet pleasure for me to watch him as he does.
Soren has become more independent in his play with this change and it is so much fun to sit on the couch with Mattias and watch Soren use his tow trucks to rescue the truck stuck in the mud, to hear as the trains greet each other and ask how they're doing or go up and down the mountain of the couch cushions. The noise of his hammer pounding on the sturdy plastic of his slide is made more bearable by the sounds of his sweet voice as he imagines himself building, "Oh, I missed a nail." or "I better go build." He is even starting to use the (toy) cell phone he got for Christmas to speak -- "Hello, this is Soren. I'm very busy...doing my job." which is said after informing me, "It's ringing, I better go answer it." It all just melts my heart!
Despite the lack of a playmate at home, Soren has found one in Marley, or as he calls him, "Barley." Soren has started to dialogue with Marley and interact with him, sometimes in doggie appropriate ways like throwing a ball for him and then asking him to drop it so he can throw it again. But also as though Marley is his friend and capable of responding to him, "Where should we go, Barley?" "Come with Soren, Barley." "What should be do, Barley?" I love watching Soren interact with our dog and though often when he's with other kids I am not around, I know that means he has reached a stage where his play is becoming more interactive and will involve other people.
This little boy was still so much my baby 4 weeks ago, and yet along with the addition of a new baby in the family, these weeks have brought about so much growth in my oldest son. Everything about him is bigger, wiser, more "grown up" than a month ago. He is a charming, active, intelligent little boy who is learning yet another way to explore and interact with his world and it is a bittersweet pleasure for me to watch him as he does.
Smile
Yesterday as I sat holding Tias (wishing he'd sleep so I could put him down and do the same), I was trying to be very intentional about enjoying that moment with just him. Soren was down for his nap and though I wanted one too, I decided it was important to take the time to stop and enjoy this time with my baby, rather than wishing it away. What I received in return for this was a big, toothless grin from my little guy that seemed so genuine and so appropriately timed that I am choosing to believe that it was a fledgling effort to interact with his world and not just gas.
As time passes and a baby grows and changes it is so easy to forget the miracle that we witness in a baby -- life itself. And to watch as these tiny beings, so needy and dependent, learn about their world and how to interact with it through their quiet observations. I was talking with some other moms yesterday morning about how easy it is when I am stressed out to wish this time away, wishing for a little more independence in my boys or even when we're having a good moment, looking forward to when.... I know these days, weeks and years will go by SO fast and so I am trying to choose each day to live in the present reality, to focus on and cherish the moments with which God is blessing me on THIS day. And yesterday I was rewarded in a most precious way for this effort, by a first smile as I sat cuddling and savoring a fleeting stage of life with my newborn.
Thank you, God, for the reminder.
As time passes and a baby grows and changes it is so easy to forget the miracle that we witness in a baby -- life itself. And to watch as these tiny beings, so needy and dependent, learn about their world and how to interact with it through their quiet observations. I was talking with some other moms yesterday morning about how easy it is when I am stressed out to wish this time away, wishing for a little more independence in my boys or even when we're having a good moment, looking forward to when.... I know these days, weeks and years will go by SO fast and so I am trying to choose each day to live in the present reality, to focus on and cherish the moments with which God is blessing me on THIS day. And yesterday I was rewarded in a most precious way for this effort, by a first smile as I sat cuddling and savoring a fleeting stage of life with my newborn.
Thank you, God, for the reminder.
Mother of Two
2. The number of children I have the task of mother. 2. The number of minutes it took to figure out the chaos we were welcoming into our home by going from one child to two. Life is sure different when your family expands from one child to two. It now takes me a minimum of 30 minutes to go from being mostly ready to head out the door (all that's left to do is brush my teeth, get the older one dressed and get everyone/everything in the car). 30+ minutes to do that. How can it possibly take 30 minutes? Our day is now a balancing act between trying to maintain Soren's schedule which was pretty regular and smoothly-executed and trying to figure out or fit in Mattias' not so regular or smoothly executed needs. Being the mother of two is demanding and exhausting and requires a lot of intuition and learning to find the right balance between the two kids, between attention and neglect, between indulging and surviving.
But being the mother of two, even after just 4 weeks, brings moments of sweetness, moments of pleasure, moments of heart-swelling love. I have watched Soren's tender and hesitant touch on his baby brother's head. I took part, with great joy, as Soren played trucks, even sharing his beloved toys, with Tias as he was lying on the floor. I was even blessed to help my gentle-spirited boy give his baby brother a good night kiss for the first time last night. Oh, what joy to be the mother of 2!
There are times when I am so tired, exhausted by the seemingly relentless demands of two kids, both of whom are dependent upon me for most or all of their needs. And then I get these sweet moments watching my two little boys and I am renewed! I look forward to the day when these two little guys of mine can be buds, playing together in the backyard, imagining up worlds and games together. But even now I can cherish our times together as they get to know one another, as they learn what it is to be a brother, as Soren reaches out to his little brother Baby Tias with love and tenderness (and a little fear) in those sweet moments of love and friendship.
I am trying my best to remember each to reflect on these moments. No matter how frenzied or harried I am (and honestly, that's when it's most important) to take a minute to see the blessings of and joys in having more than one child. It is hard work. It is demanding physically, emotionally and intellectually. It is important to me to have even a few moments alone with each one at some point in the day for a quick snuggle or a story or playing with trucks. But being the mother of two is pretty special. I have a brood. I am the mother of boys -- plural. It is a new identity even to being a mother. And I am learning to embrace this new identity, to claim it each day, when it's hard and when it's sweet, because now I will always be the mother of these two.
But being the mother of two, even after just 4 weeks, brings moments of sweetness, moments of pleasure, moments of heart-swelling love. I have watched Soren's tender and hesitant touch on his baby brother's head. I took part, with great joy, as Soren played trucks, even sharing his beloved toys, with Tias as he was lying on the floor. I was even blessed to help my gentle-spirited boy give his baby brother a good night kiss for the first time last night. Oh, what joy to be the mother of 2!
There are times when I am so tired, exhausted by the seemingly relentless demands of two kids, both of whom are dependent upon me for most or all of their needs. And then I get these sweet moments watching my two little boys and I am renewed! I look forward to the day when these two little guys of mine can be buds, playing together in the backyard, imagining up worlds and games together. But even now I can cherish our times together as they get to know one another, as they learn what it is to be a brother, as Soren reaches out to his little brother Baby Tias with love and tenderness (and a little fear) in those sweet moments of love and friendship.
I am trying my best to remember each to reflect on these moments. No matter how frenzied or harried I am (and honestly, that's when it's most important) to take a minute to see the blessings of and joys in having more than one child. It is hard work. It is demanding physically, emotionally and intellectually. It is important to me to have even a few moments alone with each one at some point in the day for a quick snuggle or a story or playing with trucks. But being the mother of two is pretty special. I have a brood. I am the mother of boys -- plural. It is a new identity even to being a mother. And I am learning to embrace this new identity, to claim it each day, when it's hard and when it's sweet, because now I will always be the mother of these two.
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